KJo whores out his next big money makers!

With all the buzz already floating around about Dharma Productions' next film with Ayaan Mukherjee, Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani, Karan Johar is doing his very best to make sure his next big it couple is seen and heard all over town. Case and point, Bosco Ceasar's party.

KJo's PR Apparently someone at Dharma was asked to call around and inform the waiting photogs about Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor's appearance at the soiree. Subtle! Pics follow:

Yes, yes we all see how Ranbir is being driven back home rather than driving home drunk as he probably would have done under normal circumstances. KJo can't risk losing his hero now can he?

Both of them look smashed. Must've been one helluva party...or so we're supposed to believe. ;-)
[indiaglitz]

GIFTH 2012: Red carpet pics!

It was a big night for Ekta Kapoor and Co, as the industry turned out for the 2012 Global Indian Film & Television Honors.

See Ekta's jaw-dropping red carpet appearance, after the jump!

Quote of the day

Saif has further stated that he has not enjoyed shooting for any other movie as much as he enjoyed making Agent Vinod. Saif and Illuminati want to make five sequels to it. But he hopes that his director does not take as long to make the sequels, as it took him to make this one (2 years).

-- Indian daily, on SAK's plan for AV and beyond. 

Uh.....
5?
Five?
5 f*cking sequels?

Any chance that was a typo? Here's hoping....! I guess he wants to take AV the Mad Max route. Agent Vinod Beyond Thunderdome, anyone? Anyone?

"...as much as he enjoyed making Asshole Agent Vinod..." Puh-leeze, with all the delays, budget problems, and scheduling conflicts he was ready to tear his receding hair out!

Mona Kapoor being treated for cancer!

Oh no. Mother to Bollywood's latest wannabe boy toy hearthtrob, Arjun Kapoor, and ex-wife to Shrek Boney Kapoor, 47-year old Mona Kapoor, is currently undergoing chemotherapy at Mumbai's Hinduja Hospital for cancer.

Her illness, which worsened a few months back, became a major concern for her family when she was no longer able to eat any solid foods. Mona even Tweeted about her condition when her illness forced her to miss a friend's wedding. A source close to the family said:

"Mona's son Arjun and daughter Anshala are very worried. It has been rather tough on Arjun who has been preparing for the release of his debut film Ishaqzaade."

Screw Ishaqzaade, go be with your Momma! Boney was apparently in Dubai on business when Mona was admitted into the hospital (or at least that's what Sri's PR folks tell us) but has since been keeping close tabs on his ex's condition. I guess that means, whenever he speaks to his son, he asks, "By the way, how's your old lady doing?"

Since her stay, however, it seems Mona is responding well to medications and treatment. Whew, there's the silver lining Arjun beta! And all this happening soon after the Kapoor patriarch, Surinder Kapoor, passed away late last year.

Man, I feel bad for Mona. I'm sure her marriage to Boney was anything but perfect, but just being swept to the curb after Sri "Wrap me Leger" devi came walking into her hubby's life...sheesh, that's gotta be tough. Mona remained very close and a favorite bahu to Boney's parents, even after their split. I hear Surinder's death was particularly hard on her.

I really hope her kids can look after her. Her ex is too whipped busy, and something tells me Maheep "VP of the Birkin Brigade" (she got a promotion Y'all) Kapoor has her head too far up Gauri's ass to even come up for air. Hopefully, Sunita (Anil's wife) can lend her some extra support as well. Mona will need it! Especially if Ishaqzaade tanks! ;-)
[IANS, TOI, chakpak]

F*cktard of the week!

Not Bollywood related, but.........

Pic of the day

Just hanging out with the boys....

Yash Birla, the shortest french fry in green Speedos!

[shirtlessindianmen.blogspot]

FHM: For Morons Magazine?

The more and more I read about FHM India, the more and more I'm convinced the mag is for the dipsh*ts, by the dipsh*ts! They released a pic from one of their recent issues on Facebook recently, a who's who of people they think are "dickheads"...yes, their word, not mine. 30 Men Who Uninspire India, as they titled it, or an "inventory of good-for-nothing men." Here's who they picked:

I'm going to do my best to list all of them (not all 30 pictured here, btw) but there are a few who escape me. Basketeers, please correct me and/or fill in my memory gaps:

Row A (l-r) : Vivek Oberoi , Tusshar, some Cricketer, S.M. Krishna (Minister of External Affairs), who knows, Ramalinga Raju (of Satyam infamy), and of course our resident Bollywood schmuck, Ram Gopal Varma.

Row B: Don't know, Suresh Kalmadi (former MP from Pune, who was busted for the CWG Timing scandal), Rahul Mahajan, A. Raja (2G spectrum scam), Dude wearing a topi, Amar "It matters between the legs" Singh, and Ramdev.

Row C: Another cricketer, Shiney Ahuja, those two Karnataka state legislators who were caught looking at porn, Lalu Prasad Yadav (MP from Bihar), Ashmit Patel?, and some Dude wearing a bad jacket.

Row D: Mahesh Bhatt, Himesh Reshammiya, can't remember that actor's name, Harman Baweja, Digvijay "Even Osamaji deserved a better burial" Singh (an MP from MP), and finally Dawood Ibrahim.

Clearly some of these names belong on the list. But, Vivek Oberoi, Tusshar, hell even Harman?? Just because they are losers, it doesn't make them "dickheads" or "good-for-nothing"....I'm sure we can think of a handful of men who are more deserving of FHM's (dis)honor. Why are Salman Khan and SRK not on the list, eh?

But then again, FHM India are the same f*cktards responsible for coordinating those asinine Veena Malik covers. So there ya go! ;-)
[FB, PV]

Filmy Schmilmy!

The other day we mentioned Tabu was being roped in to do the item number for 'Aa Ante Amalapuram' in the Hindi version of Arya, starring Naseeruddin Shah and Sonu Sood. Well, scratch that! It turns out, Hazel Keech of Bodyguard fame will be doing the number instead. I, for one, am happy! Seeing Tabu do one of these, had "wrong" written all over it!

Sanjay Leela Bhansali wants to come back with a bang. So, naturally he's doing his version of a played out story we've seen a hundred times timeless love story. Two words: Romeo. Juliet. That happens to be the tentative title as well. And who says originality is dead in B-town!? To make matters worse, the lead roles will be played by Kareena Kapoor and Ranveer Singh.  Flynn Rider and the B*tch of Bollywood as Romeo and Juliet!? Le puke. The film will be set in modern day India, and the star crossed lovers will hopefully kill themselves in the first 5 mins of the film and spare us from further agony. #wishfulthinking ;-)

Zoya Akhtar is still riding high on her Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara fame. Oompa Loompa is already planning the film's sequel. Womp womp womp. Obviously her better known brother, Farhan Akhtar, will climb on board to ghost direct head the cast, just as before. But it looks like the original film's two saving graces, Hrithik and Abhay, may not be in the sequel. Sources close to Zoya say it will be another coming-of-age story, set amidst a traveling abroad story line. But guess who'll be back for round two? That's right, Katrina "WTF do I have to do for a national award?" Kaif!

Speaking of Abhay Deol, Mr. Freaky Deeky himself bagged a plum role in Prakash Jha's next snoozefest film. The role was originally meant for Abhishek Bachchan, but then thankfully Jha came to his senses. Speaking about the film, Abhay said:

"This film happened almost overnight. I have immense respect for Prakash Jha's work and it's a great script. I am extremely happy that I could join the project."  

Regarding Abhay replacing Abhishek, Jha elaborated:

"We have never officially announced that Abhishek was part of the film. These were all false reports that were making the rounds. At the moment Abhay, Arjun (Rampal) and Manoj (Bajpai) are part of the film. And I think Abhay is perfect for the role." 

I feel bad for our Frooty Toots. Ah well, there's always Drona 2! ;-)

Vidya Balan seems to have bought herself a permanent seat in Bollywood's Hall of Fame. Some are comparing Vidya to the Khans, Aamir in particular, having given good performances in Paa, Ishqiya, No One Killed Jessica, The Dirty Pitcure, and now Kahaani. Her performance in Kahaani is still being talked about. I suppose we should just pretend Heyy Baby and Kismet Konnection don't exist? ;-) Personally, it's a treat to watch her on screen, especially lately. What irks me is the constant comparison to the Khan brigade. If she's got a divatude, then Vidya's the new SRK. If she does good films, she's the new Aamir. WTF? Just let the woman be! Vids Darling, don't go apesh*t on a bottle of Johnny Walker and take a drive, K?
[BOI, HT, HP]

Jibber-Jabber!

Well, by now y'all must have heard, She-who-shall-not-be-named, finally has a name: Aaradhya Bachchan. Personally, I think it's a beautiful name for a baby, meaning 'one who shall be worshiped', I believe. Aaaaand, it's just a great coincidence that Baby A also shares the same initials as her doting Daddy and Dadaji. Nice going, Grandpa! So glad you didn't name her Amitabla or Amitabu or Amitabby. Now that Baby A is all official now, Frooty Tooty bought his pride and joy a new car! After all, it should be nothing but the best for the little girl who will be forced to carry on the legacy of a celebrated national personality as he slowly creeps into oblivion....right? But I digress. Abhishek and ARB will be the proud owners of a brand new Audi A8, a vehicle they purchased just recently, I'm told. What baby couldn't do with a shiny new rattle car worth a mere Rs. 1.45 crore? ;-) Wow Y'all, Bachchans are really doing well! A new name, a new car, I guess it would be too much to ask or new personalities as well? ;-)

And now the piece of news that has me all steamed up jumping for joy! The actor formerly knows as my Cutie Pie has shacked up once again, Y'all. This time, Shahid Kapoor decided to leave the Indian girls alone and went in for the semi-aquatic duck billed lipped platypus, known as NAWR-gis Fakhri. Oh. Joy. She's a beauty, no doubt. A beauty which conceals her 32 years on this Earth, very nicely. Side note: Katrina Dear, buck up. Nargis looks younger than you, and that's sad. But back to Shahid and Nargis, apparently they met during Shahid's 'Lets Goa get laid!' Sexcapade he went on with his buddies. Other than what I imagine to be some good sex, what do these two share in common? Momma's Boy would've suited Nargis better, no? Shahid, a tea-totaling vegetarian, who shys away from everything other than a nice piece of ass, with Nargis, an American Top Model reject who came to India to give our girls a run for their money? Pssha! A "friend" of Shahid's told a tab:

"Nargis spent a lot of time with Shahid in Goa. They were attracted to each other then and their friendship grew after returning to Mumbai. However, they started dating only recently." 

Ah well, I find solace in the fact that a better skirt will come along and yank Shahid by his...brain... and Nargis will be just another memory. Hmm...who knew Shahid was into dinosaurs? Perhaps it's just the species of Vaginosaurus Sex that gets him all hot and bothered. The most prominent trait of the species? DSLs!  ;-)

It being reported that Deepika Padukone is back in the good graces of Assh*le Pataudi. Y'all may remember, shortly after Ramesh Taurani threatened Deepika with her career, Sh*thead Ali Khan and others gave her the silent treatment, until she eventually gave in. The two were spotted along with Diana Penty shooting some of the final scenes for their upcoming flick tentatively still titled, Cocktail. The scene which was photographed, called for Deepika's character and Saif's character to hug and play nice. They did. But then again, they were 'acting'...!
[HP, Mum.mirror, TOI, BOI]

Quote of the day

"There are so many heroines who haven't changed anything about their looks ever since I was in school. They still wear the same shade of lipstick and wear their hair in the exact same way. I don't want to be disrespectful, and I don't want to get into controversies, but I think people know who I'm talking about. It's sad that actresses don't experiment."

-- Kangna Ranaut

It wasn't that long ago that she was in school, really. So.........